Process Analysis Assignment: Morgan Mauro
& Wes Havonec
Cat: Today the dog woke me up at 6 AM. He
was running around my bed barking about going to the vet today. I had at least
another hour to sleep before I needed to get up but the dog decided it was
absolutely necessary to wake up at the first sign of daylight. After listening
to 5 minutes of ranting from that idiotic mutt, I stepped out of bed into a
large mud puddle.
Dog: Oh boy, I woke up because that big
ball of light was up, and you know when that is up you should be too. Then I
went out and fetched the paper. My paws got a little muddy, but I don't mind.
Then because I was up, I ran right upstairs and woke the cat up. He seemed so
excited to be awake!
Cat: I couldn’t be less excited. I proceeded
to make my way towards the stairs as the dog jumped up and down next to me. I
tried to restrain myself from digging my claws into him and I finally shouted
at him just as we got to the stairs. Unfortunately, amidst my shouting, I
failed to notice yet another mud puddle at the top of the stairs.
Dog: The cat was so enthusiastic that he
jumped down the stairs! I bet he just couldn’t wait to go to the vet either. I
don’t know what a vet is, but it sure sounds like oodles of fun!
Cat: My flailing body came to rest after
denting the umbrella holder. By the time I got on my feet again, the dog had
his salivating tongue right in front of my face breathing heavily and looking
disgustingly happy as usual.
Dog: The cat bounced higher than my tennis
ball! After he got up, Master came in and said it was time to go. We went
outside to the shiny wheelie car. I love riding in the car. Master let me ride
next to the window so I could look outside at the other wheelie cars. He put
the cat in the cage so he wouldn’t bounce around again and get hurt.
Cat: Our gamekeeper proceeded to stuff me
into a confined detention facility while the dog was given pampering and fresh
oxygen in the front seat. I watched him lean out the window and vowed if he
fell out, my life would be devoted to God. Unfortunately, my atheistic views
prevailed and I once again cursed any higher powers. When we got to the
veterinarian, the gamekeeper and dog advanced into the office of which I had so
many unpleasant memories as I was left in the car.
Dog: Master left the cat in the car so the
other dogs at the vet wouldn’t bother him. I had so much fun in the office!
Another dog and I played a game where we chased our tails to see who could
catch it first. I love that game.
Cat: I could feel the oxygen content
rapidly lowering and prepared myself for death by curling up in the back of the
cage. Within moments, I heard the car door open and felt my cage swiftly yanked
from the seat. The next few minutes are clouded thanks to the minor concussion
I suffered after sliding down the cage and into the door. As I was expelled
from the cage onto the cold steel table in the vet’s office, I once again
noticed the dog’s enthusiasm and tried
to suppress my loathsome expression.
Dog: The cat looked so happy when he
got out of the cage! I wanted to go first but Master decided the cat needed to.
I watched the vet as he looked at the cat. He then said a few things to Master
as he was rubbing my head, which felt very good. The vet then took out thin
shiny sticks and poked the cat with them. After the cat was put back into the
cage, it was my turn. They put me up on the cool table. It felt good because it
was so hot out. I couldn’t wait when I saw the vet take out more shiny sticks
for me! I got poked a few times too. Then the vet rubbed my head again and gave
me a cookie.
Cat: After my spinal cord was severed by
the needles I was violently stabbed with, I watched through the prison bars as
the dog enjoyed a treat given to him by the vet. I was dispirited to arrive home
after more unsuccessful pleads to God for the canine’s death. Finally out of my
confinement, I wondered whether I was more content in the cage and isolated
from the dog who was once again mocking me with his eagerness.
Dog: As soon as the cat got out of the
cage, I asked him how much fun he had at the vet. He was so funny trying to
pretend he didn’t like it. I knew he really did. After a few minutes of telling
the cat how much fun I had, it was time for dinner! I ran to the kitchen so
fast, but the cat decided he wanted to sleep first.
Cat: I avoided all possible contact with
the canine while he consumed dinner. It was a brief period of bliss when my
only association with the dog was the sound of his inconsiderate grunts while
he ingested his
meal. I noticed the dog took unusually
long to devour his food today.
Dog: I was so excited about eating that I
didn’t realize I ate the cat’s food! I figured the cat wouldn’t like my food so
I ate that too. Then I went inside to find the cat and see if he wanted to
play.
Cat: Before I had time to take advantage
of my solitude, the dog was back to pester me again. It seems the dog was
craving attention and entertainment. At first I ignored him as usual until I
realized there was a great juncture at hand. I agreed to gratify him by
throwing his tennis ball. I could see my ultimate scheme for canine
annihilation playing out in my head.
Dog: I was so happy when the cat said he
would play with me! He took the tennis ball and walked into the kitchen with
it. I followed waiting for him to throw it.
Cat: I had second thoughts about
eradicating the dog until I horrifically found my food bowl full of nothing but
saliva. Being so infuriated, I threw the ball with all of my vigor at the doggy
door in the kitchen. It bounced outside as I watched the dog chase it into the
thunderstorms and felt a sense of satisfaction.
Dog: I guess the cat knew how much I loved
the rain so he threw it outside so I could go play in it!
Cat: I immediately pushed everything I
could in front of the door.
Dog: The cat even put the trash can by the
door so I could eat the scraps out of it when I came back in!
Cat: The dog just pushed the trash can
aside and ate out of it. I stared at him with repugnance then went back to the
couch for more dormancy. By the time I got to the couch, the dog was awaiting
my presence with his saliva-drenched tennis ball. I then turned and headed up
the stairs as the dog avidly jumped up the stairs next to me begging to throw
the ball again. I ignored him as much as possible but his subsistence was
inevitable.
Dog: Oh boy, I couldn’t wait for the cat
to throw the ball again! He walked up the stairs and I could tell he was
thinking of a new fun game to play.
Cat: I walked up the stairs while thinking
of ways to kill myself.
Dog: We got to the top and the cat went to
his bed in Master’s bedroom. I couldn’t wait to see what game he was going to
play with me! He seemed so anxious.
Cat: My attempts to sleep were defeated by
the dog’s energetical vivacity. He insisted on playing a game and I told him we
would play a game of who could stay quiet the longest.
Dog: I wasn’t very good at the game the
cat made up.
Cat: The dog wasn’t very good at the game
I made up. After a good hour of frustration, the gamekeeper finally decided it
was time for slumber and put the dog in his cage. I often watched this nightly
ritual as it was the only relishable routine that I could count on happening
regularly.
Dog: I couldn’t wait to go to sleep
because I knew the next day Master would let me out and I could have more fun
with the cat.
Cat: The only repose was this temporary
tranquility, and yet every night I go to sleep knowing the next day I am going
to suffer even more depression.
Dog: "Good Night Cat!"
Cat: "Shut Up!"