Process Analysis Assignment:                                                    Morgan Mauro & Wes Havonec


Cat: Today the dog woke me up at 6 AM. He was running around my bed barking about going to the vet today. I had at least another hour to sleep before I needed to get up but the dog decided it was absolutely necessary to wake up at the first sign of daylight. After listening to 5 minutes of ranting from that idiotic mutt, I stepped out of bed into a large mud puddle.


Dog: Oh boy, I woke up because that big ball of light was up, and you know when that is up you should be too. Then I went out and fetched the paper. My paws got a little muddy, but I don't mind. Then because I was up, I ran right upstairs and woke the cat up. He seemed so excited to be awake!


Cat: I couldn’t be less excited. I proceeded to make my way towards the stairs as the dog jumped up and down next to me. I tried to restrain myself from digging my claws into him and I finally shouted at him just as we got to the stairs. Unfortunately, amidst my shouting, I failed to notice yet another mud puddle at the top of the stairs.


Dog: The cat was so enthusiastic that he jumped down the stairs! I bet he just couldn’t wait to go to the vet either. I don’t know what a vet is, but it sure sounds like oodles of fun!


Cat: My flailing body came to rest after denting the umbrella holder. By the time I got on my feet again, the dog had his salivating tongue right in front of my face breathing heavily and looking disgustingly happy as usual.


Dog: The cat bounced higher than my tennis ball! After he got up, Master came in and said it was time to go. We went outside to the shiny wheelie car. I love riding in the car. Master let me ride next to the window so I could look outside at the other wheelie cars. He put the cat in the cage so he wouldn’t bounce around again and get hurt.


Cat: Our gamekeeper proceeded to stuff me into a confined detention facility while the dog was given pampering and fresh oxygen in the front seat. I watched him lean out the window and vowed if he fell out, my life would be devoted to God. Unfortunately, my atheistic views prevailed and I once again cursed any higher powers. When we got to the veterinarian, the gamekeeper and dog advanced into the office of which I had so many unpleasant memories as I was left in the car.


Dog: Master left the cat in the car so the other dogs at the vet wouldn’t bother him. I had so much fun in the office! Another dog and I played a game where we chased our tails to see who could catch it first. I love that game.


Cat: I could feel the oxygen content rapidly lowering and prepared myself for death by curling up in the back of the cage. Within moments, I heard the car door open and felt my cage swiftly yanked from the seat. The next few minutes are clouded thanks to the minor concussion I suffered after sliding down the cage and into the door. As I was expelled from the cage onto the cold steel table in the vet’s office, I once again noticed the dog’s enthusiasm and tried

to suppress my loathsome expression.


 Dog: The cat looked so happy when he got out of the cage! I wanted to go first but Master decided the cat needed to. I watched the vet as he looked at the cat. He then said a few things to Master as he was rubbing my head, which felt very good. The vet then took out thin shiny sticks and poked the cat with them. After the cat was put back into the cage, it was my turn. They put me up on the cool table. It felt good because it was so hot out. I couldn’t wait when I saw the vet take out more shiny sticks for me! I got poked a few times too. Then the vet rubbed my head again and gave me a cookie.


Cat: After my spinal cord was severed by the needles I was violently stabbed with, I watched through the prison bars as the dog enjoyed a treat given to him by the vet. I was dispirited to arrive home after more unsuccessful pleads to God for the canine’s death. Finally out of my confinement, I wondered whether I was more content in the cage and isolated from the dog who was once again mocking me with his eagerness.


Dog: As soon as the cat got out of the cage, I asked him how much fun he had at the vet. He was so funny trying to pretend he didn’t like it. I knew he really did. After a few minutes of telling the cat how much fun I had, it was time for dinner! I ran to the kitchen so fast, but the cat decided he wanted to sleep first.


Cat: I avoided all possible contact with the canine while he consumed dinner. It was a brief period of bliss when my only association with the dog was the sound of his inconsiderate grunts while he ingested his

meal. I noticed the dog took unusually long to devour his food today.


Dog: I was so excited about eating that I didn’t realize I ate the cat’s food! I figured the cat wouldn’t like my food so I ate that too. Then I went inside to find the cat and see if he wanted to play.


Cat: Before I had time to take advantage of my solitude, the dog was back to pester me again. It seems the dog was craving attention and entertainment. At first I ignored him as usual until I realized there was a great juncture at hand. I agreed to gratify him by throwing his tennis ball. I could see my ultimate scheme for canine annihilation playing out in my head.


Dog: I was so happy when the cat said he would play with me! He took the tennis ball and walked into the kitchen with it. I followed waiting for him to throw it.


Cat: I had second thoughts about eradicating the dog until I horrifically found my food bowl full of nothing but saliva. Being so infuriated, I threw the ball with all of my vigor at the doggy door in the kitchen. It bounced outside as I watched the dog chase it into the thunderstorms and felt a sense of satisfaction.


Dog: I guess the cat knew how much I loved the rain so he threw it outside so I could go play in it!


Cat: I immediately pushed everything I could in front of the door.


Dog: The cat even put the trash can by the door so I could eat the scraps out of it when I came back in!


Cat: The dog just pushed the trash can aside and ate out of it. I stared at him with repugnance then went back to the couch for more dormancy. By the time I got to the couch, the dog was awaiting my presence with his saliva-drenched tennis ball. I then turned and headed up the stairs as the dog avidly jumped up the stairs next to me begging to throw the ball again. I ignored him as much as possible but his subsistence was inevitable.


Dog: Oh boy, I couldn’t wait for the cat to throw the ball again! He walked up the stairs and I could tell he was thinking of a new fun game to play.


Cat: I walked up the stairs while thinking of ways to kill myself.


Dog: We got to the top and the cat went to his bed in Master’s bedroom. I couldn’t wait to see what game he was going to play with me! He seemed so anxious.


Cat: My attempts to sleep were defeated by the dog’s energetical vivacity. He insisted on playing a game and I told him we would play a game of who could stay quiet the longest.


Dog: I wasn’t very good at the game the cat made up.


Cat: The dog wasn’t very good at the game I made up. After a good hour of frustration, the gamekeeper finally decided it was time for slumber and put the dog in his cage. I often watched this nightly ritual as it was the only relishable routine that I could count on happening regularly.


Dog: I couldn’t wait to go to sleep because I knew the next day Master would let me out and I could have more fun with the cat.


Cat: The only repose was this temporary tranquility, and yet every night I go to sleep knowing the next day I am going to suffer even more depression.


Dog: "Good Night Cat!"

Cat: "Shut Up!"