I never wanted to be a cynic. All the tidbits of information I’ve ever gleaned about cynicism were negative. However, it is no surprise to me why so many people are cynical---it seems many works of art in which society finds truth and poignancy are devastatingly tragic. Nevertheless, cynicism is a great hindrance to human achievement and will. That’s why it upset me when I thought I was beginning to turn to the dark side. My path to pessimism began innocently when I accepted an offer to be assistant director and choreographer for a community production of “Peter and the Wolf.”

“Wow, thanks for calling back so quickly, I just left my number to the librarian a few minutes ago!” exclaimed the woman I would know to be Susanne.

I held my breath and waited for her to start the usual “It’s so nice to see teens do this, etc. You know teens these days.” When she didn’t use those usual lines of pseudo-praise (which is the worst compliment you could give to a teen volunteer) I liked her. I bet she knew how some adults thought flattering to say, “Hey, you’re a really good kid. Too bad all your peers are malicious maggots and you’re growing up in a lost generation that worships reality show stars.” The words would slither between their bleached teeth and land withering onto my lap.

“Thanks,” I’d automatically say as I brushed my knees.

Although, there was tenderness, the sojourn we embarked on was so arduous that there was no energy left for other nuances. Our project was to train a cast of verdant five to eleven year olds to introduce other children of the community to classical music through Prokofiev. Phew.

“Aww, the kids are so cute,” remarked my good friend Mitzi when she visited a rehearsal.

“Yeah, and they’re working really hard,” I beamed proudly at Oren who had mastered his hunter role.

“With all this time you’ve been spending on this, you must have had no time for schoolwork,” Mitzi said with a slight tone of cynical competitiveness.

Cynicism reaches the best (friends) of all of us. Mitzi’s friendly jab hit in the spot that had been nursing a patch of disparagement I had about the show. And thus, opening day I was a wreck. I had tallied silently while sweeping the stage that I have poured in more than 48 hours of SAT prep time for the production (which my parents won’t let me forget). Also, the possible mishaps of the bouncy actors on a raised stage with concrete corners were the subjects of some of my most exciting nightmares. The cynicism in me was so strong you could see hypocritical stink lines rising from my body.

That’s why when over 130 people showed up to see the play and an encore was needed, I was put into a deep, sweeping state of euphoria and chagrin. Yes! I knew it’d be a hit! But, how could I have doubted hard work and professionalism the actors had put in? The actors jumped off the stage and surrounded me for a huge hug which made me blush. Their little squished faces against my sides made an “awww” escape from me which caused me blush harder.

In that moment, any pretence I put on and any cynicism I was harboring evaporated completely. All that was left was a pure exhilarating feeling of contentment. Not all truth has to come from gnawing sorrow; I had discovered something profound about what could happen when we exert the best within us. I had mistaken my feelings as cynicism, when all along they had been just little voices egging on my soul screaming, “The best within you is yet to come!” (625 words)