Peer Editing the Profile Piece

To the Editor(s): Please write your name in the table. Please consider what kind of feedback you would like to receive and try to offer the same quality of feedback to your classmates. Your responses should be thorough and demonstrate an eye to detail. Read the work more slowly, putting checks by the more effective parts of it and putting question marks by the parts that are unclear to you. Circle any spelling or capitalization errors, and note any other mechanical problems by underlining or circling.

COMPLIMENTS:

 

 

Editor Name:

General Reaction --Write a few sentences addressing your first impressions about it. Is it interesting?

Is it well organized?  Has it fulfilled the assignment of capturing a person's profile?  Is it approx. 1000 words or more? Do you think this piece could be published as is? Why or why not? If yes, where?

 

What is the main idea the profile illustrates about the person? (What’s the glue?) Analyze whether it’s about a trait, event, hardship, etc.

How can it be more effective? What could be added to make it clearer?

 

Quoting: Has the author used the subject’s words as often as possible? Do the quotes make sense? Do they support the glue and assertions made in the paragraph? Has the subject provided enough first hand quotes? Does it feel like too much telling and not enough showing? Check the punctuation and formatting (see the board).

Citing: Has the subject or people referenced been mentioned by full name the first time and only by the last name thereafter?

 

Are there enough interviews? Make sure the author has quoted at least two other people who know the subject, preferably more than once each!

 

Who else should or could be consulted to make this story more interesting? Help the writer improve this piece in his/her revision!!

 

Has the author avoided using “I” or phrases like: “When asked how he felt, he said,…”? or “When interviewed, ____ stated…” The piece should be in 3rd person and we shouldn’t be reminded that it’s an interview.

 

Has the author avoided “We” and “You”? – i.e., “You get the sense that ____ is….”

 

In the body of the piece: Please circle or cross out these phrases in the body of the profile if they exist. Here: offer suggestions for more powerful sentences or overall comments on journalistic style.

 

Which parts of the paper detract from the purpose?

Look for information or quotes that don’t seem to support the glue. Please note/bullet what is extraneous here and cross it out on the paper.

 

 

Suggestions: Offer the writer at least two specific suggestions that might help him or her to improve the essay. Think of questions you had while reading: did it make sense? Were you able to follow along? These may be questions that your classmate will want to answer in the next draft. * Don’t write: “It was really good.” This is not a suggestion! Think about the author’s use of quotes, description, and logical structure.

 

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